HENRY CLOUD: Never Go Back shows us that there are key “awakenings” or “doorways” that successful people go through, and once they have had that realization, they “never go back” to doing life the way they did before. A “mental puberty” of sorts, these lessons, once had, change someone forever. Whether having successful relationships, or reaching goals and dreams, these are known patterns that successful people have learned (many times painfully) and practice diligently.
Successful people “never go back to trying to change another person,” since they have realized that never works. Instead, they walk through a doorway that empowers them to become “change agents” in others’ lives without trying to change them, many times with great results. The difference is huge, and it takes an awakening to the pattern to make the shift.
The book walks through 10 of the “awakenings” that thriving people follow, and that we can too if we learn them. They will save us a lot of time, heartache, resources and life if we do. Plus, it takes you through the steps of the change process for making the shifts.
HOMECOMING: Tell us about three books you love.
HENRY CLOUD: All of these are older books, but they left an impression on me that will always remain:
No Man Is an Island by Thomas Merton. For me, it was a great boost in understanding some dynamics of love and growth.
Return From Tomorrow by George Ritchie. It is an incredible “real-life” (if you believe it, if you don’t, it is a great metaphor) picture of the eternal reality that surrounds us at all times and in the future.
Love and Will by Rollo May. It is a great treatise on relationship and intentionality.
HOMECOMING: How have technology and social media both strengthened and threatened your relationships?
HENRY CLOUD: Like many things, technology is neither good nor bad, but a tool that can be used in the service of either. For me, it strengthens relationships by helping me stay connected and current with people that I want and need to connect with. It adds dimensions to know about their experiences and lives when I cannot be around them. I am much more current, for example, with distant friends than I would be without it. Even with family, for example my daughters, I find that I can stay connected through sharing of photos or messages.
On the other hand, I sometimes can use it to hide from connecting as well. I can detach and lose myself behind a screen, instead of connecting with real people. I love information, and love “checking out” as a bit of my introversion, so this is something I have to watch out for and guard against.