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Einstein and the 50-Yard Line
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If it is true that we are put on this earth to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

My friends, it is deep thoughts like these that I ponder from month to month. I get hundreds of letters and emails from you with thoughts and funny stories of your own. So before I get to my favorite sports funnies, I have to go to the mailbag and share a quick laugh with you.

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Here’s a true story from Donna White in Belchertown, Massachusetts. She writes...

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly, he had a home and was well taken care of.

He calmly came over to me and I gave him a few pats on the head. He then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner, and fell asleep. An hour later, he went to the door and I let him out. The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall. He again slept for about an hour. This continued for weeks.

Curious, I pinned a note to his collar one day that said, “I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful, sweet dog is. Are you aware that almost every afternoon he comes to my house for a nap?”

The next day he arrived for his nap with a different note pinned to his collar. It said, “He lives in a home with six children; two under the age of 3. He’s trying to catch up on his sleep! In fact, may I come with him tomorrow?”

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Keep those funnies coming! Now, on to my three favorite sports stories...

One day, John Smith decided to go to a new golf course across town where no one knew him, just to get away and see if he could do better elsewhere. He hired a caddy to guide him around the course. After another day of bad shots, an awful score and a foul temper, he turned to the caddy and said, “I must be the worst golfer in the world.”

The caddy replied, “I think not, sir. I have heard there is a guy named John Smith across town who is the worst player ever!”

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Albert Einstein arrived at a party and introduced himself to the first person he saw. He asked, “What is your IQ?”

The man answered, “165.”

“That’s wonderful!” said Einstein. “We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the universe. We will have much to discuss!”

Next, he introduced himself to a woman and asked, “What is your IQ?”

The lady answered, “144.”

“That is great!” responded Einstein. “We will talk about politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!”

He introduced himself to a third person and asked, “What is your IQ?”

The man said, “51.

Without missing a beat, Einstein said, “How ’bout those Steelers?”

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Joe had tickets for the Super Bowl with a seat at the 50-yard line. As he sat down, he noticed that the seat next to him was vacant. He asked the man on the other side if anyone was sitting there.

“Nope,” the man replied, “The seat is empty.”

“This is incredible!” said Joe. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, and not use it?”

The man looked up and said, “Well, actually the seat belonged to my wife, but she passed away. This will be the first Super Bowl we haven’t been together since we got married.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” said Joe. “Couldn’t you find a friend, or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?”

The man just shook his head and said, “No. They’re all at the funeral.”

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Now That’s Funny!