Contributor Two Contributor Two
Fishing, Hiccups and Hairpieces
Contributor Two Contributor Two
One day, a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish.

About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and wondered why he wasn’t out working harder to make a living for himself and his family.

“You aren’t going to catch many fish that way,” said the businessman. “You should be working rather than lying on the beach!”

The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and replied, “And what would my reward be?”

“Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!” said the businessman.

“And then, what would my reward be?” asked the fisherman.

The businessman replied, “You will make money and be able to buy a boat, which will result in larger catches of fish!”

“And then, what would my reward be?” asked the fisherman again.

The businessman was starting to get a little irritated with all the questions. “Well, you can buy a bigger boat and hire people to work for you.”

“And then, what would my reward be?” repeated the fisherman.

The businessman was getting angry. “Don’t you understand? You can build up a whole fleet of fishing boats, sail all over the world, and let all your employees catch the fish for you!”

Once again the fisherman asked, “Then what will my reward be?”

The businessman became outraged and screamed at the fisherman. “Don’t you understand that you can become so rich that you will never, ever, ever have to work for your living again! You can spend all the rest of your days sitting on this beach, looking at the sunset. You won’t have a care in the world!”

The fisherman, smiled, looked up and said, “And what do you think I’m doing right now?”

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There’s no doubt, kids tell it like it is. This one comes from Anna in Fort Myers, Florida...

After holding my little grandson and giving him a big kiss on the cheek, I noticed him wiping his cheek pretty vigorously.

“Are you wiping off my kiss?” I asked.

“No,” he replied quickly, “I’m just rubbing it in!”

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I heard about an elderly lady who went to the doctor’s office. After the doctor examined her, she screamed and ran out of the room as if she were running for her life. With much effort, a nurse finally managed to calm her down.

The nurse then stormed into the office of the doctor and yelled, “Shame on you! Mrs. Wilson is a sweet Christian woman. She’s 82 years old, and you told her that she’s pregnant! How could you do that?”

The doctor calmly looked up and asked, “Does she still have the hiccups?”

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Ted was sad that he was going bald. Trying to cheer him up, his wife Barbara bought him a hairpiece.

She was very excited to show off her new husband, and was thrilled when one of their friends invited them to a party that night. After the party, Ted looked depressed.

“What’s wrong, Honey?” asked Barbara, sitting down on the couch next to him.

“I didn’t enjoy the party at all,” complained Ted. “I was so self-conscious; I felt like everyone was able to tell I was wearing a hairpiece.”

“Oh Sweetie,” said Barbara, patting Ted’s knee, “I’m sure nobody was able to tell. In fact, everyone at the party that I told was very surprised!”

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C.E. Massey in Pennsylvania writes...

My 7-year-old grandson announced last Sunday that he was going to be a minister when he grows up. Naturally, his grandmother and I were delighted to hear this. Being a retired pastor myself, I was especially proud.

“What has led you to this decision?” I asked.

“Well,” he said, “I figure if I have to go to church on Sundays anyway, it’ll be more fun to stand and yell at everyone than to just sit there and listen.”

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Now that’s funny!