Contributor Two Contributor Two
"Just Marred": Funny Wedding Stories, Part 1
Contributor Two Contributor Two
We asked you, our readers, to send us your funny wedding stories, and you really came through!  We just had to share some of these tales with you, so we've chosen some of the funniest for your reading pleasure.  Hope they give you a chuckle or two!  

Just "Marred
"
I read on Facebook that you wanted some funny wedding memories.  Well, here’s our story!

We started dating in November of 1985. People in the church we attended felt we should be married, because my husband was called to preach and I am a piano player.  So, I’m not even sure about when he asked me; I can't remember if he ever did!

We were married on February 15th, 1986, at 7:00 P.M. Before the wedding started, we had tried our rings on that we had borrowed for the ceremony — they fit great! Everything was set for a perfect wedding evening. Well, it came time for the two flower girls and ring bearer to walk down the aisle. About halfway down the aisle, the ring bearer threw the pillow down and refused to pick it up! One of the flower girls picked the pillow up, chunked it at the ring bearer and said “CARRY THIS.” Well, that was just the start of an eventful night!

The ring bearer didn't want to stand, so he sat down on the step and put one of his pant legs inside his boot. He was stealing the show! When it came time for me to walk down the aisle, my Dad was so nervous, he was almost in a trot. When I would say “slow down,” he would almost make me trip over my dress. I was so relieved to finally get to the altar with my future husband! As the wedding progressed, the minister told us to repeat after him. I was nervous and said, “I thee Tonya take thee Danny to be my awful wedded husband”.... I was so embarrassed at that point!

When it was time for the rings,  Danny was trying to put the ring on my finger and I guess I was so nervous that my finger swelled. Danny said, “Oh noooo!” The whole wedding party was about to lose it. Then I went to put the ring on his finger and his finger had swelled too, so I said, "Oh noooo! " as well — everyone was chuckling by that time!

As we left the church after the reception, we saw that they had decorated the car. They had put the words “JUST MARRED" on the back!

The night after we were married, my husband had been asked to preach at a neighboring church. I had only been his wife for 24 hours. The service went great! At the end of his sermon, he asked the congregation to bow their heads and said, “Would my wife come to the piano?” I bowed my head like everyone else and looked around (out of the corner of my eye) for his wife. A lady setting next to me said, "You’re his wife!" Oh yes...that was interesting.

I wouldn't trade these memories for anything. God has been good! You would think that a wedding that had so much excitement in it would seem fast, but that evening seemed like an eternity.  I cannot say our marriage has been perfect, but we celebrated 25 years last year and it has been worth the journey. Whether he asked me to marry him or not, I may not remember — but, I made a vow to this man and I would gladly do it again. He has been my best friend and will be—“until death do us part.”  — Tonya D.


You Take My Breath Away
When I was a young girl, my family went to a wedding at our church. There were three brothers and the groom, if I remember correctly. The brothers were holding lit candles during the vows, and they began fainting. Later, we learned that the lit candles were taking their oxygen, thus they fell down. It was funny, but because of the wedding no one was laughing, of course. Later the church banned having anyone hold lit candles. I am over 70 years old and haven't forgotten that wedding! I went to many wonderful weddings, but that tops them all. I have been married nearly 53 years now to my high-school sweetheart.  — Ann G.


Holy Rollers
We got married on December 28, 1962. All the participants were home for the holidays from college. I went to get my hair fixed that morning, and they put two beauticians on my head of hair. One was rolling one side one way and one the other (my hair was naturally curly). You can imagine how it came out!

We were getting married at my college church because my home pastor had passed away. It was 50 miles away. My mom was making my wedding cake, as well as sandwiches for us to eat after the rehearsal, which was right before the wedding. She forgot the sandwiches and had to run to a grocery store to buy all the "fixings." The best man, my hubby’s college roommate, didn't catch the right bus and was late for rehearsal, so we made him an usher and he was upset.

I think the wedding went off without a hitch, but afterward realized we had made no arrangements for pictures to be made. So one of my college friends ran to a store to buy some film. Almost everything that could go wrong did!  If we make it to Dec 28, 2012 we will have made it 50 years.  — Wanona S.


Catch Me If You Can
It was June, 1971, as my new bride and I left the chapel. Her brother and my cousin decided to chase us through the little East Texas town where we were married.  As I tried to lose them, a cop pulled us both over and gave us tickets.  Since I was not a local, they made us go the police station and pay the fine on the spot for both of us, which took just about all the cash I had.  And while my bride waited in the running car in 90 degree weather, the car overheated. We had to let the car cool off before adding coolant, which I did not have money for either.  After a couple of hours sitting in front the small town police station, we finally got out of town and on to the honeymoon. On top of that, our cousins wrote all over my car with white shoe polish and in the hot Texas sun, it burned into the paint job. We could read "Just Married" and assorted words and phrases until we sold the car two years later!  — John M.


Nailed It
I was coming down the aisle when my wedding gown got caught on a nail.  When I turned, my husband to be thought I changed my mind and was going to leave!   — Betty S.


Enjoy the Ride
This is my funny story from my youngest daughter's wedding:
It was an outdoor wedding on a beautiful summer day in the mountains.  My daughter wanted to have a white horse and buggy bring her down the hill to the guests and her groom, but we couldn't find one.  So, instead, she rented an "open wagon" pulled by a couple of horses, and we decorated it.  She and all the bridesmaids were in this very open wagon coming down a very bumpy hill.  :-)  As they began their descent, they had to hold on for dear life not to fall into the wagon bed!!  They were laughing all the way and the guests had no idea what was happening.   — Glenda D.


Send In the Clown
We had ordered tuxedos for the groomsmen about three months before the wedding. The morning of the wedding, all the guys were getting dressed, and my husband, the groom, came out looking like he had on clown pants! He first thought they had mixed up the sizes with the best man or someone else. No, out came the best man and the groomsman with theirs fitting perfectly. His mother said, “Well, maybe I can pin them.” He was not having that—he looked ridiculous! They had to drive 15 miles away, get the correct size and get back before the wedding, which at that point was only about one hour later. You guessed it—he was late. But at least his pants fit!   — Brenda S.


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