Contributor Two Contributor Two
God, Golf, and Grandma
Contributor Two Contributor Two
Those who know me, know that I am an avid river kayaker. That’s how I love to get away and get recharged. I also love the beach. I’m just a waterbug!


Most of my friends, however, play golf. They’re always telling stories about their favorite golfers.

My favorite Jack Nicklaus story is about the reporter who said, “Mr. Nicklaus, your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What’s your secret?”

Nicklaus replied, “The holes are numbered!”

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Billy’s father picked him up from school to take him to a dental appointment. Knowing the acting roles for the school play were being posted that day, he asked Billy if he got a part.

Billy enthusiastically announced that he’d gotten a part. “I play a man who’s been married for 20 years.”

“That’s great, son,” said his dad. “Keep up the good work and before you know it, they’ll be giving you a speaking part.”

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The Sunday morning service had ended, and the pastor was greeting the folks as they were leaving. Everyone was friendly as they greeted him, but no one said anything about the sermon.

The pastor was getting a little concerned until someone said, “Oh, Pastor, your sermon this morning reminded me of the peace and love of God.”

A little puzzled, the pastor asked him to explain.

The little old man said, “Well, Pastor, that sermon reminded me of God’s peace because it passed all understanding. And it reminded me of His love because it endured forever.”

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At my grandparents’ 50th wedding anniversary, I was looking through a photo album of their marriage ceremony. “Grandma, so many of these styles have come back over the years,” I commented.

Grandma never hesitated.

“That’s why I’ve kept Grandpa all this time,” she said. “I know he’ll be back in style again one of these days.”

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After much convincing from my husband, I finally agreed to call an old family friend and sing “Happy Birthday” to her. It was only after I finished singing that the voice on the other end of the line informed me that it was the wrong number.

“Oh I’m sorry!” I said, embarrassed.

“It’s OK,” the voice said. “You can use all of the practice you can get!”

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“I once asked the legendary bass singer and one of my heroes, George Younce, what his birthdate was.  He replied February 22nd.
I then asked what year. He said with a grin, “Every year!”


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This one comes from my buddy, Cliff Saupe...

Three men worked in the Empire State Building on the 102nd floor. One day the elevator was out of service, so they had to walk up to their office. To pass the time, they decided that one would sing a song, one would tell a joke, and the third would tell a sad story — each taking a turn every floor until they reached the top.

Finally, as they reached the 100th floor, one man sang his last song. As they reached the 101st floor, the second guy told his last joke. As they ascended the flight to the 102nd floor, the third man said, “I forgot the key.”

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Now that's funny!