Only two days before Christmas, a lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
The stock boy replied, “I guess not ma’am, they’re dead.”
A lady lost her handbag at the mall in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her.
Looking in her purse, she commented, “Hmmm...that’s funny. When I lost my bag there was a 20 dollar bill in it. Now there are 20 one-dollar bills.”
The boy quickly replied, “That’s right ma’am. The last time I found a lady’s purse, she didn’t have any change for my reward.”
A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas
After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles.”
“She did,” he replied. “But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?”
After being away on business for a week before Christmas, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.
“How about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics clerk.
She showed him a bottle costing $50.
“That’s a bit much,” said Tom, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.
“That’s still quite a bit,” Tom groused.
Growing disgusted, the clerk brought out a tiny $15 bottle.
Tom grew agitated, “What I mean,” he said, “is I’d like to see something real cheap.”
So the clerk handed him a mirror.
Last Christmas, Grandpa was feeling his age and found that shopping for Christmas gifts had become too difficult. So he decided to send checks to everyone instead.
In each card he wrote, “Buy your own present!” and mailed them early. He enjoyed the usual flurry of family festivities, and it was only after the holiday that he noticed that he had received very few cards in return.
Puzzled over this, he went into his study, intending to write a couple of his relatives and ask what had happened. It was then, as he cleared off his cluttered desk, that he got his answer.
Under a stack of papers, he was shocked to find the gift checks which he had forgotten to enclose with the cards.
Now that’s funny!
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