Contributor Two Contributor Two
Laughing Through the Changes
Contributor Two Contributor Two
Wow! Ten years of Homecoming Magazine … that’s hard to believe. We’ve shared a lot of laughs in this column through the years, and our lives have changed in many ways … Starbucks, global warming, tattoos. Business suits have given way to jeans and flip-flops. And don’t forget about technology.

Ten years ago, a Blackberry was just a summer fruit; now it’s a way of life. In six years alone, Apple sold over 100 million iPods. A camera is no longer a camera. It’s just an application on a cell phone. Google is now a verb.

Don’t even mention all the apps that have recreated our lifestyle in the last decade. I have an app that can give me directions to my uncle’s house in Chinese. When I want to connect with friends, I use Facebook. When I have a profound thought, I no longer share it with my family — I just tweet it or blog about it. Kids today learn how to text at an early age, but can’t seem to spell anything correcctly.

If you missed something that happened today, I’m sure it will show up somewhere on YouTube. Don’t get mad in the grocery line; someone will post it before you get out of the store.

Yep, we’ve all seen lots of changes these past few years — like my friend who had this outgoing message on her voicemail:

“I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.”

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My friend, Melvin Early, sent in this funny story about 82-year-old Morris, who went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. The doctor said, “Morris, you’re really doing great, aren’t you?”

Morris replied, “Just doing what you said, Doc. ‘Get a hot mama and be cheerful.’”

The doctor shook his head and said, “Morris, what I said was, ‘You’ve got a heart murmur; be careful!’”

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A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the bottle. During her struggle, the phone rang, so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer it. The little girl picked up the phone and said, “Hello, Mommy can’t come to the phone right now. She’s hitting the bottle.”

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Many of you are still wrestling with keeping those New Year’s resolutions. This comes from Mary Jo in New Hampshire:

“I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so this year, I decided to join a fitness club and start exercising. I signed up for an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour … but by the time I got my leotard on, the class was over.”

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I leave you with these words of wisdom from our own Bill Gaither. I asked him about his personal memories over the last 10 years. He said, “Kevin, you know that my memory is not as sharp as it used to be. And you also know that my memory is not as sharp as it used to be.”

Now that's funny!