This story was sent in by Dannelle Hayes from Richmond, Indiana:
Tom feared his wife Peg wasn’t hearing as well as she used to, and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem.
“Here’s what you do,” said the doctor. “Stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal speaking tone, see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”
That evening, Peg was in the kitchen cooking dinner, and Tom was about 40 feet away in the den. In a normal tone, he asked, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” There was no response.
Tom moved closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and asked again, “Peg, what’s for dinner?” Still, no response.
He then moved into the dining room, about 20 feet away and asked, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Again, no response.
Tom then stood 10 feet away at the kitchen door, asked the same question, and still received no response.
Finally, he walked right up behind her and yelled, “Peg, what’s for dinner?”
She whirled around and screamed, “For the FIFTH time, I said CHICKEN!”
Here are a couple of “kid stories” sent in from sweet Martha Long:
All of the kids in the class had been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
“Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’”
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher, she’s dead.”
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted it on the apple tray: Take only ONE. God is watching.
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note: Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
Thanks to Joan Botts from Waco, Texas, who offered this hilarious “Bubba” story:
Bubba walked into a doctor’s office. The receptionist asked him what he had. Bubba said, “Shingles.” So she wrote down his name and address, took his insurance card and told him to have a seat. Fifteen minutes later, a nurse’s aide came out and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, “Shingles.” She then wrote down his height, weight and complete medical history, and told Bubba to wait in the examining room. A half hour later, a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, “Shingles.” The nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test and an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor. An hour later, the doctor came in and found Bubba sitting patiently with no clothes on. He asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, “Shingles.” The doctor asked, “Where?” Bubba said, “Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload ’em?”
Now that’s funny!
Click for more from Gaither Homecoming tour favorite, Kevin Williams!