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"Name That Tune!"
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All this talk about country singers and country songs… It takes a lot to be a great country song. Some make it, some don’t. Personally, I think it’s all in the title. For instance, these are actual country hits.

“All My Exes Live in Texas”

“Thank God and Greyhound She’s Gone”

“Bubba Shot the Jukebox Last Night”

“A Boy Named Sue”

“You Can’t Rollerskate in a Buffalo Herd”

“She Got the Gold Mine and I Got the Shaft”

“Here’s A Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares”

“The Weather is Here, I Wish You Were Beautiful” and

“If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I’d Blow It All On You”

But sadly, some country song titles just don’t have what it takes, like these that almost made it...

“I Bought the Shoes That Just Walked Out on Me”

“Saddle Up the Stove, I’m Riding the Range Tonight”

“If the Phone Doesn’t Ring, It’s Me Not Calling You Up”

“If Love Were Oil, I’d be a Quart Low”

“Come Out of the Wheatfield Nelly, You’re Going Against the Grain”

“My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend and I Sure Do Miss Him”

“They May Put Me in Prison But They Can’t Stop My Face From Breaking Out”

“If You Don’t Leave Me Alone, I’ll Go and Find Someone Who Will”

“How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?”

“You’re the Reason Our Kids are Ugly”, and my favorite...

“I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim is Getting Better”

Now you know that I love getting funny stories from my friends. This one comes from reader Martha Long in Georgia.

A woman in a supermarket noticed a grandfather and his badly behaving 3-year-old grandson. He obviously had his hands full with the child screaming for candy and cookies. The kind granddad would say, in a controlled voice, “Easy, William, we won’t be long...easy, boy.”

After another outburst, the grandfather calmly said, “It’s OK, William, just a couple more minutes, and we’ll be out of here. Hang in there, boy.”

At the checkout, the little terror began throwing items out of the cart. Again, the granddad said in a gentle voice, “William, relax buddy, don’t get upset. We’ll be home in a few minutes. Stay cool, William.”

As the woman exited the store, she said to the elderly gentleman, “It’s none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don’t know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be OK. William is very lucky to have you as his grandfather.”

The man turned and said, “Thanks lady, but I’m William. That little stinker’s name is Eddie.
Now that’s funny!

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