Contributor Two Contributor Two
Not Your Average Organist
Contributor Two Contributor Two
Have I ever mentioned that I’m the only male in a house full of women? That’s right. I have a wonderful wife and two incredible daughters. Every third Thursday, they throw an estrogen party and I have to stay in the garage. When I can’t find my razor, rest assured, someone is shaving their legs with it.

I wouldn’t trade it though. They are absolutely the funniest people I know.

For instance, recently, my youngest daughter, Olivia, had misplaced something of mine. When she told me what she had done, I asked her why she didn’t tell me sooner. She looked me in the eye and said, “I’m sorry, Dad. I’m not prepared for any follow-up questions.”

Case closed.

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Thanks to Diane Dorus for sending in a couple of “grandparent funnies.”

She writes, “My young grandson called the other day to wish me “Happy Birthday.” He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 80. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, ‘Did you start at 1?’”

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A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived.

“Oh,” he said, “she lives at the airport. When we want to see her, we just go get her. Then, when we’re done with her, we take her back to the airport.”

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Joan Botts emailed this cute story about a little boy who was attending church for the first time. He watched as the ushers passed around the offering plates. When they came to his pew, he said loudly, “Don’t pay for me Daddy. I’m only 5.”

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A social worker from Boston was recently transferred to the mountains of West Virginia and was on the first tour of her new territory when she came upon the tiniest cabin she had ever seen in her life. Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door.

“Anybody home?” she asked.

“Yep,” came a little boy’s voice through the door.

“Is your father here?” asked the social worker.

“Pa? Nope. He left before Ma came in,” said the child.

“Well, is your mother here?” persisted the social worker.

“Ma? Nope. She left just before I got here.”

By this time the social worker thought she would need to intervene in the situation and asked, “Are you never together as a family?”

“Sure,” said the boy through the door. “But not in here. This is the outhouse!”

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The minister of a little church in Iowa was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building.

On that particular Sunday, he was also annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play.

“Here’s a copy of the service,” he said impatiently. “But, you’ll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances.”

During the service, the minister paused and said, “Brothers and sisters, we are in need of a miracle today. The roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected, and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up.”

At that very moment, the substitute organist began playing “The Star-Spangled Banner.”

The church raised over $6,000 that day, and that is how the substitute organist became the full-time organist!

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Now that’s funny!