Contributor Two Contributor Two
Preachers, Planes, & Passwords
Contributor Two Contributor Two
Anyone who knows me knows I love a good church story. Everybody’s got one, and I’ve heard hundreds, but this is too good to keep to myself.

I remember a guy when I was growing up who really got one over on our pastor. The sermon was over, and we were all filing out of the church as the pastor stood at the door. He shook the pastor’s hand and said, “Thanks for the sermon, Preacher. You must be smarter than Einstein.”

The minister smiled and said, “Why, thank you, brother!”

As the week went on, the pastor began to think back about this. The more he thought, the more puzzled he became.

The next Sunday, on the way out of church, the pastor stopped the man and asked, “Exactly what did you mean about me being smarter than Einstein?”

The man replied, “Well, they say that Einstein was so smart, only 10 people in the entire world could understand him. But Preacher, no one can understand you!”

************************************************************************************************

For two solid hours, a lady sitting next to a man on an airplane told him all about her nine grandchildren. She gave details about each one and even pulled out a photo album. Finally, after realizing that she had dominated the entire conversation by bragging on her grandchildren, she said, “Dear goodness, I’ve done all the talking. I’m so sorry. I know you certainly have something to say. Please tell me ... what do YOU think of my grandchildren?”

************************************************************************************************

A kindergarten teacher addressed the class and said, “Today, children, during Show & Tell, we will present things that represent our religion. Who will go first?”

The first little boy stood and said, “My name is Benjamin. I’m Jewish, and this is the Star of David.”

The second little boy stood and said, “My name is Thomas. I’m Catholic, and this is the crucifix.”

The third little boy stood and said, “My name is James. I’m Baptist, and this is a casserole.”

************************************************************************************************

Jennifer from Maryland sends in this funny...

A door-to-door salesman rang the doorbell at the house of a newlywed couple. After no one came to the door, he began to hear voices getting louder, yelling, and arguing. He rang the bell again, and the husband came to the door looking quite upset and somewhat disheveled.

“What do you want?” yelled the husband.

The salesman said, “Good afternoon. I would like to speak to the head of the house.”

“Good,” said the husband. “You’re just in time. My wife and I are settling that right now!”

************************************************************************************************

I have a friend who says he is getting so old, he can’t remember the password to his computer, so he changed it to “Incorrect.” He says, “That way, when I log in with the wrong password, the computer says, ‘YOUR PASSWORD IS INCORRECT.’”

************************************************************************************************

Seven-year-old Timmy was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church one Sunday morning. It was covered with names and on each side was a small American flag. Noticing this, the pastor walked up and said, “Good morning, Timmy.”

Timmy’s eyes never left the plaque. He said, “Good morning, Pastor. What is this?”

The pastor replied, “Well, son, it’s a memorial to all those young men and women who died in the service.”

After several seconds of silence, Timmy turned and asked, “Which service, the 8:30 or the 11:00?”

************************************************************************************************

Now that's funny!