Contributor Two Contributor Two
The English Teacher and the Policeman
Contributor Two Contributor Two
I get emails every month wanting me to tell a funny Bill Gaither story. Well, here goes...


A few months ago, Bill was driving in his hometown in Indiana one afternoon when he didn’t come to a complete stop at a stop sign. He only slowed down and rolled through. He then saw the lights of the police car in his mirror, so he pulled over. As the officer approached, Bill recognized him as one of his former students and said, “Son, I was your English teacher many years ago.”

Without missing a beat, the officer replied, “Yes sir, Mr. Gaither. Then you should know those stop signs are periods, not commas.”

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A pastor was leaving his area and was saying farewell to the congregation at the church doors for the last time. He shook the hand of an elderly lady as she walked out.

She said, “The next pastor just won’t be as good as you.”

“Nonsense,” said the pastor, in a flattered tone.

“No, it’s true,” said the lady. “I’ve been here under five different ministers, and each one has been worse than the last.”

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A man was applying for a job when the employer said, “This job requires someone who is very responsible.”

The man thought for a minute and replied, “You’ve got the right guy! On my last job, every time something went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

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A teenage boy and a minister were playing golf together. At a short par three, the minister asked, “What are you going to use on this hole, son?”

The boy said, “An eight iron pastor. What about you?”

The minister said, “I’m going to hit a soft seven and pray.”

The teenager hit the ball all the way to the green, but the minister only dribbled out a few yards. The boy looked at the pastor and said with a grin, “I don’t know about you sir, but in our church, when we pray, we keep our head down.”

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I heard a story about a guy who walked into a dentist’s office and flopped down on the couch. He said, “Doc, here’s the problem. I think I’m a moth.”

The doctor studied about it for a minute and said, “That certainly is a problem, but why did you come into a dentist’s office?”

“Well,” said the man, “The light was on.”

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This one comes to us from Winifred in Ontario, Canada...

My grandson Eric was crying in the back seat of the car on the way home from church on the Sunday of his little brother’s christening. His father asked him what was wrong. Eric replied, with tears in his eyes, “The preacher said he wanted us to be brought up in a Christian home, but I want to stay with you guys!”

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Now that's funny!