Contributor Two Contributor Two
The Honey-Do List
Contributor Two Contributor Two
The idea of a summer picnic is extremely enticing to me. Fried chicken, lemonade and sunshine make for the perfect family memory.

However, while most of you are enjoying summer hikes, camping, swimming, riding a bike, visiting the beach or building a treehouse, I’ll be busy at home completing a comprehensive compilation of things that need to be done, undone, fixed, cleaned, removed or improved. I’m talking about the “Honey-Do List.”

If you’re married, you’re familiar with this term. The wife needs certain chores done. The husband is not apt to do them on his own, so she makes him a list—a “Honey-Do List.”

Sure, I’d rather go to the Grand Canyon, but first things first. I’ve got to clean out the gutters. It’s on my list. You see how this works.

These are chores that have been divinely assigned to me. By virtue of me being the “Honey,” I am qualified for my own “Honey-Do List.” By the way, the better you are at something, the more extensive the list can be.

This “Honey-Do” concept dates all the way back to Adam and Eve. Adam’s list probably read something like:
1. Name animals
2. Water ferns
3. Eat forbidden fruit
4. Hide

And so it continues today. Each husband has his own “Honey-Do” cross to bear. I thought you might enjoy seeing my list. Have a great summer, and if you get time, email me some pity.

1. Clean gutters

2. Knock out wasp nest next to gutter

3. Pharmacy for wasp sting ointment

4. Fold laundry (you’d be surprised how many pink things our family has)

5. Fix the TV that doesn’t get channel 13

6. Fix the TV that gets only channel 13

7. Fix leaky faucet upstairs

8. Fix leaky faucet downstairs

9. Re-program garage door remote so it doesn’t open neighbor’s garage door again

10. Apologize to neighbor

11. Fix neighbor’s faucet

12. Clean out microscopic, shredded, white, dust-like substance in washing machine caused from piece of paper left in my pants pocket

13. Seal the driveway

14. Back to pharmacy to get ibuprofen for headache caused from driveway sealant

15. Wash car

16. Re-seal driveway. Next time, wait 48 hours to wash car.

17. Change batteries in smoke detectors

18. Figure out why smoke detectors keep going off every hour

19. Take batteries back out of smoke detectors

20. Replace air filters to get rid of smoky smell

As you can see, these are just the top 20 on my list. This doesn’t even include what I call the “unspoken request.” That’s when she opens the back door 50 times in 10 minutes just to remind me to oil the hinges.

As I wrap this up, I realize that I have misplaced my “Honey-Do List” and will probably spend the next hour or two just looking for it. Don’t tell my wife. She’ll add it to the list.

OK, let’s see, I think I might have left it in my pants pocket…

Now that’s funny!

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